last post - Talk About Marriage

Quote:

I've spent the whole relationship trying to find go back to where I felt for the first 3 months and basically living on those old memories.

But the reality is, back then you were young, and dumb, and getting drunk/stoned so OF COURSE it SEEMED like a good time. Now you've grown up, but you don't realize you were looking at your life through a pot of haze & booze. The actual grown-up reality of BACK THEN was probably not anywhere as rosy as you remember it.

1. Get yourself a JOB. Full-time or cobble together a couple of part-time jobs.

2. Sit down and make up a budget. Google to find out how much child support your STBXH will be mandated to pay. Do NOT include it in your budget (unless you can GUARANTEE that he's the kind of man who'll pay it for the girls, regardless of how much he hates you.)

3. Start looking for a house/apartment that fits into your budget.

4. Start eating better: fresh fruits/vegetables are CHEAPER than junk food. They're also better for you and will help you FEEL BETTER about yourself.

5. Take a walk every evening after dinner. With or without your girls. It will get you some much-needed exercise, allow you to clear your head, get you away from the negativity of your STBXH, and it's FREE.

Realize that if you DON'T walk away, you are condeming your daughters to a marriage JUST LIKE YOURS. They are learning how to be women/wives by watching you! They are learning how men/husbands act by watching STBXH. If THIS is all they know, it is what they will be comfortable with in their own relationships and what they will model their own marriages after.

You don't want them to be *YOU* in 20 more years! If you can't be strong for yourself, be strong for your beautiful daughters. Love them enough to make yourself uncomfortable enough to change for the better.

People always say, "I'd DIE for them!" That is EASY to say (and rarely actually required of us.) More important to ask is "Would I LIVE for them?"

Source: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/58649-help-me-learn-walk-away.html

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